Reasons I won't kill myself before the end of the year:
To start, you're stuck with me for at least a few more days, cuz this sumbitch drops next Tuesday...BOOM!
And then...THEN!!
Step Brothers and X-Files
My penis feels funny.
Transsiberian -- Aug 1 (NY)
New Brad Anderson flick. Anderson is one of the parties responsible for Session 9 and The Machinist, so this should be excellent.
Pineapple Express -- Aug 8
This looks awesome. And I'm not even a pot smoker.
Tropic Thunder -- Aug 15
This will be one more reason Jason has to start liking Robert Downey Jr. Take that, Nagy!
Hamlet 2 -- Aug 22 (limited)
This one might suck. But it's liable to piss off a lot of easily offended Christians and that's always good for a laugh.
Burn After Reading -- September 12
Dude. It's the effing Coen brothers. Give me a reason this isn't going to kick ass and I'll give a blowjob to a dead horse.
Righteous Kill
This is probably gonna suck, but fuck it -- DeNiro and Pacino together for two hours? I'm there.
Ghost Town
I heart Ricky Gervais.
Choke
How many years have I been saying Sam Rockwell is amazing and, quite honestly, a looker?
What Just Happened (LA/NY)
Based on Art Linson's autobiography. This clip is the only one I've been, and apparently this episode is based on an actual event involving Alec Baldwin. Killer. Bruce Willis is great.
Religulous
Bill Maher's documentary about various world religions. I happen to like Maher. I like his show. I think he's got the kind of mind this country needs to move in the right direction.
How To Lose Friends and Alienate People -- Oct 3
Simon Pegg! 'Nuff said.
Zack and Miri Make a Porno -- Oct 31
It got an NC-17 rating its first time going past the MPAA, which means it will be eight trillion (literally! yes!) times better than Clerks 2. That's saying something.
Rocknrolla -- Oct 31
Maybe Guy Ritchie will stop sucking now.
Quantum of Solace -- Nov 7
Daniel Craig is the best James Bond ever. Everyone owes me ten bucks for not believing me.
The Road -- Nov 26
This should be way better than No Country For Old Men simply because The Road was a better novel. I heard they're turning McCarthy's Blood Meridian into a film as well, so that should blow both No Country and The Road away.
The Day the Earth Stood Still -- Dec 12
I know, I know. Keanu Reeves stinks. I was skeptical as well. Then I saw the trailer and this has some promise.
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button -- Dec 19
David Fincher adapting F. Scott Fitzgerald!? Wonderful. Fight Club is BY FAR his worst film and that kicked ass. This one might just be his best yet.
That doesn't include the handful of "indie" flicks that pop up on occasion or the neverending Netflix queue. So suck it, death! Suck it! And every year the list replenishes itself. Understand? Good.
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