Taking a break from working on my final projects and cleaning. For those interested, here's a quick rundown of some of the short stories I've been working on. Some of them date back a few years (The Joke; Ohio) and some are quite new (Deposed Kings; Yours Truly). The reason I'm posting this is so you people can light a fire under my ass and push me to finish something. I know I don't really say anything about the stories but...shut up.
In no particular order:
A Bomb in the Water Means Nothing -- I had a dream where I was getting married -- a beautiful ceremony on the beach. Just after the vows, as we're about to kiss, a missile drops into the ocean. The priest turns to us and says, "A bomb in the water will do this love no good." My wife turns to me and says, "Bombs mean nothing now." It means something, trust me.
The Deposed Kings of New Mexico -- Straight craziness involving Nazi's getting their asses kicked in a noir-western styled story. It's supposed to be over the top and so far it is. Think the western's of Sergio Leone mixed with the hard-boiled ass kicking of David Goodis and Jim Thompson (don't worry, I know you arseholes don't know who I'm talking about).
Light Breathing -- A romantic comedy...with a twist. Wait! No...it doesn't have a twist. It's just a romantic comedy. Originally inspired by Lawrence Arms song of the same name, but I've changed it up a bit. The title still fits. Represents the last remnants of my hopeless romanticism.
Yours Truly, The Arsonist -- Totally depressing story (that ends happily, believe it or not) . Based on a dream that had me waking up feeling good for once. Jason and Lauren told me I have to finish this one ASAP but I don't have to listen to them. Boom!
Conquistador -- About a womanizer who isn't really a womanizer but just a pervert.
I'm Adorable -- I'll level with ya...the protagonist isn't adorable. Actually, he's sort of an ass.
The Story of the Snake's Nest in the Land of Unicorns -- Seriously....scariest dream I've ever had and it had unicorns in it. I don't know what that says about my mental stability. I'm really aiming for magical realism here, so it'll be very Garcia Marquez-ish...sans the whores.
Ohio -- It's about Ohio, dummy.
Ain't No Magic in the Breakdown, Baby -- It's about giving up and how sometimes I feel like giving up.
12/21 -- I spend too much time thinking about what could have been, and I always come to the realization that I would probably be in the same position no matter what. This story is a literal take on that idea. It's hardly original, but it's unbelievably cathartic. The idea itself is a few years old, but the title (and a new angle for the story) came late last year after an insanely surreal but happy December evening. The next night wasn't very good, but that's another story.
He Looked Good In A Suit -- It's about an asshole I met at a wedding once. He was a complete douchenozzle. He wore sunglasses indoors. 'Nuff said, right?
The Joke -- It's about faith. And since I'm all out of that I might drop the story.
The Nightmare -- Another oldie. It's the one where the guy kills his wife and kid. The good news is I changed it and the wife and kid live...but everyone else dies. But it's still good news, right?! I stole this title from one of Jason's projects back in the day.
God's Precious Deserters -- This one's about people who fight religious wars because they believe their God is the True God. News flash: You aren't getting into heaven.
There's another story but I forgot the title. Crap.
Okay, gotta go get some schoolwork done. Andy's talking my ear off about pissing ashes or something and blabbering on and on about cartoons so I might just kill myself now.
P.S. Proof I used to be fucking adorable...
