a bunch of trailers (without the crack addict on the steps)

I know, right? It's a cheap shot at crack addicts. I know not everyone who lives in a trailer is a crack addict, but all crack addicts live in trailers. It's science, folks. 

I'm a little late of my semi-not-really-frequent NerdDowns (as I call them) where I just post a bunch of trailers for flicks I'm really psyched to see. So here goes...

Best Worst Movie. 

A documentary about the cult following behind Troll 2. The last time I tried to watch this flick I became physically ill within the first five minutes. It's sort of like the premise of John Carpenter's Cigarette Burns, except instead of turning me into a homicidal maniac it just made me not want to eat my sandwich. Same thing, really.

Sherlock Holmes. 

This one's for all you jerks who kept writing off Guy Ritchie...you're not allowed to see this. By the way, I laughed so hard I snorted at about the 2:20 mark.

Mega Shark Versus Giant Octopus.

Why does everyone hate the United States when it continues to turn out the finest works of cinema the world has seen since Contempt, The Bicycle Thieves, and Kagemusha?

Funny People.

Hey! Who thinks Adam Sandler's gonna turn in another Punch Drunk Love or Reign Over Me-like performance and get snubbed by the Academy once more! Ooh! Ooh! I do! I do!

And finally...

Where The Wild Things Are. (Again.) I already posted it, but who cares? This movie is gonna make me feel good...

I still don't know what her height has to do with it.

I still don't know what her height has to do with it...

Wakka wakka!

Oh, Kubrick...

Stanley Kubrick isn't a genius. You can't learn anything from Kubrick that you didn't already know. He didn't invent editing. Or sound. Watch Eisenstein. Or D.W. Griffith. Or any movie made prior to 1970...and you've got the knowledge Stanley Kubrick possessed. But you know what one Mr. Stanley Kubrick did invent? The Auteur Theory.

Oh, that's if you consider that theory to involve plagiarism and bullshit.

Listen: Spartacus sucked. Eyes Wide Shut sucked. A Clockwork Orange was a piece of shit. Barry Lyndon was boring.

"Additional dialogue: Jim Thompson"

Yeah, sure. Fuck you, Kubrick.

I cut this blog short because I believe I need to devote a more extensive blog to the mediocrity that is Stanley Kubrick..

Fart.