July 19, 2008

fucking myself

If I don't start writing on this stupid blog more I'm gonna force myself to stick my dick in a blender.

That blender won't be on, of course. I mean...well, that's just dangerous. I had an Uncle who fell for the ol' dick-in-the-blender gag. Ever since then I've steered clear of blenders. That's why my milkshakes are hand -- whoa! Idea.

I'm gonna start a milkshake company and our motto is gonna be "We hand stir our milkshakes, because we don't wanna get our dicks caught in the blender!"

CUT TO: A smiling old man handing a milkshake to his wife. Aww.

It's too hot. I'm not wearing pants because it's so hot. I'll be honest: me talking about not wearing pants is making me horny. And I sorta want to fuck myself right now.

3 comments:

Lani said...

Can I work for your milkshake company or would it be weird because I'm dickless?

puddleduck!! said...

You could work behind the scenes. CEO, maybe?

Lani said...

What's the job description like? I'm up for it. ;)