Last Christmas Eve I got shitfaced and was late to the family Christmas party...that was being held at my house. So here's to a Christmas Eve where I don't feel like I need to be shitfaced!
I know that exclamation seems like it's sarcastic, but it's really not. I'm glad I don't feel like I need to drink until I projectile vomit into the shower.
Hey! Who wants to watch Christmas Vacation and get really shitfaced?!
Whoa! What? I said that? When did I say that? Ten seconds ago? Psh!
Okay, fine. We won't get shitfaced...
...so who's got fireworks we can shoot off indoors?
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