Like anyone who peruses the internet, I get loads of spam e-mail. God bless Gmail, because I've never had a piece of spam touch my inbox (ooh! that sounds dirty!). I guess since I use Gmail spammers think they can confuse me by listing the "sender" as "me." No dice, spammers. I'm just barely smart enough to recognize I haven't sent myself messages about massive erections, hard members or neverending stories (huh?).
Another upside of not having to worry about spam e-mail? Oh, nothing except that all the porn spam is dumped in the same glorious spot, thus laying the groundwork for non-stop giggles!! No seriously, folks. I've always giggled like an idiot at the spam messages that get tossed into my Spam box, so today I thought I'd share some of the better Subject Lines with you. I've included impossibly witty comments to compliment the subject lines. Oh, I am just the bees knees, aren't I?
Massive python rams between her legs
I'm gonna tell you right now: that's gonna require a "daddy stitch." I was on an African safari once and a massive python rammed between my -- well...you know...uh, right?
Your 9 inch tool will drive her nuts
Kind sir, I will be giving you the benefit of the doubt and I will assume you are speaking of a sale at Home Depot...
And also: There's a pun involving a rusty bolt and bloody socket wrenches somewhere in there but...damn it, I just can't seem to find it!
She stopped using the vibrator after this
It's not what you think; The Vibrator is a product sold by Billy Mays.
So hard and long even when flaccid
Now that just doesn't make a lick of sense....
My snake in her pink shaven..
In her WHAT?! Her pink shaven WHAT?! Damn it! Tell me! PLEASE! I need to know what's pink and shaven!!!
She wants 9 inches for sure
I dunno, sir...I asked once and she said three was "good enough."
Grow to an incredible length
Ooh!! Ooh!! You mean like one of those mini-dinosaur sponges that when you spray water on them they grow, like, real huge n stuff? Boy, oh boy, do I ever want one of those!
FW: Read about ceos with mba -
Oh dear fuck I just creamed my pants....
Comedy gold, folks! That's comedy gold!
HUZZAH!!!
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